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The Ilumni Institute is proud to present Raising the Bar. We are committed to providing Family Law attorneys with relevant and engaging content to enrich their service to their clients.

I’m All EARs: Calming Upset Clients and Others with EAR Statements

  • New Ways to Mediate: Focus On The Process, Not the Outcome
  • Lend a Sympathetic EAR: Avoiding High-Conflict Situations with EAR Statements
  • It’s How You Say It: How Tone and Body Language Impact Resolution
  • Calming Down the Amygdala: The Brain Science Behind EAR Statements
  • All in the Family (Law): How to Apply EAR Statements to Family Law Cases

Family law is often filled with conflict, drama, and high levels of emotions. Attorneys focused in this area must be equipped to deescalate conflict and get conversations re-focused and on a constructive, solutions-oriented trajectory.

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., is the Co-Founder of the High Conflict Institute and a leading expert on how to identify, address, and mitigate conflict. In this session, he presents his work on EAR StatementsTM. EAR stands for Empathy, Attention, Respect, and an EAR Statement can calm upset clients, colleagues, family members, and others in any type of conflict in as little as 30 seconds. 

Mr. Eddy presents the simple technique for verbally showing Empathy, Attention, and Respect for another person in a way that reduces their upset emotions. This opens the door for more productive conversations that achieve needed goals. EAR Statements are designed for live discussions (phone, virtual platforms, or in-person), as compared to his BIFF technique designed for use in written correspondence. 

While EAR Statements are simple, they do take practice. This program will explain the brain science behind an EAR Statement and give several examples of how this technique can be applied in almost any high-conflict situation. It is a method that can particularly help lawyers in emotional, challenging conversations. This is a tool every attorney needs in their toolkit.


Meet the Presenter

Bill Eddy-1Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.

Co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer

California | USA

Lawyer | Therapist | Mediator | Author | Keynote Speaker

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. developed the high conflict personality theory to explain the driving forces behind people who present the most challenging behaviors. He is an expert on managing disputes involving high conflict situations and 5 high conflict personality types, including a subset of those with narcissistic, borderline, antisocial, histrionic, and paranoid personality disorders. He has trained over 200,000 professionals in 10 countries on understanding and managing high conflict disputes, including lawyers, judges, mediators, managers, human resource professionals, businesspersons, healthcare administrators, college administrators, homeowners’ association managers, ombudspersons, law enforcement, therapists and others.

As an attorney, Bill was a Certified Family Law Specialist in California and the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego. Prior to becoming an attorney in 1992, he was a Licensed Clinical Social worker with twelve years’ experience providing therapy to children, adults, couples and families in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics.

He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia.

Bill has a popular blog on the Psychology Today website with over 3.5 million views and is the author and co-author of sixteen books (as of 2020) on high conflict personalities, including two award winners (see all books here):

  • Calming Upset People with EAR
  • 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life
  • High Conflict People in Legal Disputes
  • Managing High Conflict People in Court
  • Mediating High Conflict Disputes (co-author Michael Lomax)
  • It’s All YOUR Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything
  • It’s All Your Fault at Work (award winner) (co-author Georgi DiStefano)
  • BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns
  • BIFF for CoParents (co-authors Annette Burns and Kevin Chafin)
  • BIFF at Work (co-authors Megan Hunter)
  • Why We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths and How We Can Stop (award winner)
  • SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (co-author Randi Kreger)
  • So, What’s Your Proposal?
  • Don’t Alienate the Kids
  • The Future of Family Court
  • Managing High Conflict People in Court
  • Dating Radar (co-author Megan Hunter)
  • Hiring Radar (co-author Megan Hunter)

He is also the developer of the New Ways series of methods, including:

  • New Ways for Families (divorce/separation)
  • New Ways for Work
  • New Ways for Mediation
  • New Ways for Life (for teens/adolescents)


When: January 26th, 2022
12:00 - 1:15PM PST (3:00 - 4:15PM EST)

Where: Ilumni U (via Zoom)

Cost: $55 (complimentary to guests of CDREs)



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